What is a support system and why is it important to have one?
Your support system is anyone that has your back, will be there for you through the good, bad, and ugly, someone that you can trust, and someone that you can call or text anytime day or night if you need them. Having a support system will help in more ways than you can even imagine. It is important to have a support system no matter what is going on in your life.
Being isolated from my family and friends because my ex-husband did not like them, I lost my support system and that is what he wanted. He wanted me to be dependent on him for everything and that was very unhealthy. Having only him to talk too, lean on, and for comfort destroyed my self-esteem had changed me from the person that I was when we were first together to someone that I did not recognize.
I knew that I would change some with getting married and then becoming a mom, but I did not realize that I would change so much that I would did not recognize myself anymore. Once I became a mom all of my focus and attention was raising my kids and trying to be the best mom I could be. All the while also trying to be a good wife for my ex-husband. Being a mom to my kids was and still is the best thing I did in my life. Raising them to be the best they could be and teaching them right from wrong and always encouraging them in everything they did.
Once I was a mom my life revolved around my kids, taking them to school, to after school activities, football games, competitions, and of course going shopping for new clothes and shoes. I did it all mostly by myself, my ex-husband for the first 14 years of us being parents either worked out of town or night shifts so I was essentially a “single” mom. I made sure that my kids had what they needed and were taken to where they needed to be taken too. All of that and working outside the house too.
I had a full-time job for most of my kid’s childhood, although if you asked my ex-husband since he made more than I did that my job was nothing. He told me all the time that my job was nothing and that I needed to make more money. What he wanted was for me to bring home all the money and him stay at home to take care of the kid. He wanted to be a stay-at-home dad, but he couldn’t do that unless I made more. He always said that he was going to retire at the age of 40 and just let me work while he stayed home. Well, that did not happen! He was still working at 40 and now at almost 54 he is still working!
When I separated from my ex-husband, I had so many people come out of the woodwork to support me. They helped me through some of my darkest moments, and they were there for me to celebrate my new journey and accomplishments as a single person living on her own for the first time!
Your support system is your sounding board, your shoulder to cry on, there to help pick up the pieces of a horrible day or moment. Even if they are not there for you in person, it’s ok because they don’t to be there in person. A simple text telling them that you need to talk, that you are having a bad moment, that you have exciting news to share with them, or just whatever they are there for you. There is an App called Marco Polo; my 2 sisters & I use it to “check-in” with each other daily. We tell each other to have a great day, to be safe on the roads, we talk about how our day might be, we cry when we have something wrong and just need to vent, it is our way to be there for each other and support each other.
If you feel like you don’t have a support system or anyone that you can turn too, I bet that you do, they are there you just need to reach out to them.
Remember that help is just a call, text, or email away! You are WORTHY! 🙂
Living w/mental health 