How do you pick up the pieces of your life after it has fallen apart? How do you put one foot in front of the other? What does your life look like now that you are starting over?
Looking back at what my life was like when I was married, it was hard to see what my life would look like now that I am divorced. I was not a saint by no means in my marriage, I helped destroy it and I have owned my part in our failed relationship. If you can’t own your part in something rather it failed or not you cannot begin to pick up the pieces.
Finding peace within myself was not easy but I did it and it has helped me grow to be a better person. Finding forgiveness within myself has opened my eyes to see that I made the right choice for me. You cannot begin to start picking up the pieces of your life if you don’t forgive yourself and find peace. Being mad, angry, or even holding a grudge will just eat you up inside and you will not have peace.
For me finding my peace was talking to my therapist, my family, and friends. It was me exercising every day, twice a day during the week and then on the weekends I would run 7-8 miles in the mornings. For me exercising helped me focus on what I need to do to find my peace.
Taking responsibility for my part in destroying my marriage was the start of picking up the pieces and finding peace in my life. I hurt my husband in ways that I never thought I would and because of that not taking responsibility for my actions would have made it impossible for me to pick-up the pieces.
As I was picking up the pieces of my life, I found that I had a big support system that I did not know I had because my ex-husband made sure that I was isolated from them. Starting over by myself was scary for me because I went from living with my parents, to living with my ex-husband and now to living by myself. The first 40+ years of my life I was never alone, I did not have the college life experience of living on my own, I was living with my ex-husband when I started college. So, moving into my own place and having 1 income to support myself was a struggle and an eye opener to just how strong I really was.
I have grown so much while picking up the pieces of my life after divorce. I have gotten stronger, and I have improved my life in every way. My relationship with my siblings is so much better, I have reconnected with my very best friend after about 10 years of not seeing each other or talking. Not all my broken pieces are put back together but that is still a work in progress.
Remember you are not alone, help is a phone call or text away, and you are WORTH it! 🙂
Living w/mental health 